TOP 8 MORONS OF 2008...
so far!

 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

 AT&T fired President John Walter after only nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps
it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

 2 . WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

 Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters,
officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line,
shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'

 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

 An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him
to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper
proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

 4. THE GETAWAY!

 A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money
in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up
and grabbed him.

 5. DID I SAY THAT???

 Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't
control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup
to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted,
'That's not what I said!' 

 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING HERE???

 A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions
are only two minutes apart!!!' 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man
shouted, 'This is her husband!'

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED

 In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank
of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate
a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

 8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!

 Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east
of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter
how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going.
It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much
power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they
putted slowly into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be
able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed
everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the
out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size
and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
(NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE...)

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,
was the trailer!