Some of my ramblings....
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Another reason why I believe that humans
are higher on the food chain than some animals.
Humans might be more careful when eating their
food and not have a bucket on their head all night.
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I need to start seeing this doctor!!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular
exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats,
and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything
wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not
make you live longer; it like saying you extend
life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer?
Take nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat
more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency.
What does cow eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So steak
is nothing more than efficient mechanism
of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good
source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended
daily allowance of vegetable product.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit.
Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they
take water out of fruity bit so you get
even more of goodness that way. Beer
also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat,
your ratio one to one. If you have two
bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages
of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My
philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried
these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they
permeated by it. How could getting more
vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from
getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle,
it get bigger.. You should only be doing sit-up
if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa
bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good
food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain
whale to me..
Q: Is getting in shape important for
my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any
misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat,
here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently
what kills you.
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Ever had a day like this?
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Go Saints! Congrats to my home team, the
New Orleans Saints. Click on the logo to
check out the French Quarter Saints party
live cam!
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Take a look at these homes, especially
to the last one.
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John Travolta
J-Lo and Mark Anthony
Arnold & Marie Schwarzenegerr
EDDIE MURPHY
Sylvester Stallone
Tiger Woods
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IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!
The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a
highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted
orally, by hand, and even electronically.
This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).
If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or
anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!!
This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should
come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.
Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one
or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE)
and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the
antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from
your system.
You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends.
If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected
and WORK is controlling your life.
________________________________________________________
Don't you think this would make a great bumber
sticker?
